Я хотел.

I wanted to build you a castle that shimmered in the day and glistened in the night like a tiny pearl rescued from the deep black sea.

I wanted to gather the clouds for you up in the sky so they painted a polk a dot picture of sunbeams that touched the earth.

I wanted to jump out of my body and slip into yours so we might be together forever and no longer afraid of what happens next.

I wanted to grow a garden of ivy and cilantro deep in the forest where no one could find us and we could play like the children we once were unashamed.

I wanted to live in your eyes and to drift on your lids while you slept.

I wanted to protect you.

I wanted to dance in a fire and let it consume us so we couldn't exist to feel pain or loss.

I wanted to go back to the day before we met, so I could walk passed myself and smile, then whisper in my ear that everything would be okay because you were near.

I wanted to melt into you like a piece of silver on gold and defy both of our properties.

I wanted to speak our language for only ourselves, so no one would know what we were saying.

I wanted to drift from the universe holding your hand to ask God if we could spend the night together entangled in stars.

I wanted to have you all to myself every second of life so I couldn't miss you ever again.

I wanted to, but all I could manage was to say "I love you" and know that that wasn't enough.