Sunday, July 6, 2008

My Biggest Accomplishment

I would have to say that my biggest accomplishment is overcoming depression. I began having really dark feelings about myself, and life in general, around the age of eleven. I've probably always had a predisposition toward depression, but too many factors came together around that time to push me into its deep, dark, and lonely hole.

I remember crying all the time, just breaking down and feeling so alone, unworthy for anything good to happen to or around me. I isolated myself from others, feeling like their friendships could never be genuine toward me, and began hanging out with the wrong crowd. I did many stupid things that could have had very bad consequences, and a few of them did. But, ultimately someone must have been rooting for me, because I got through it all safely.

Something happened when I was sixteen. I met a guy who opened my eyes, and not to give him all of the credit, because it just shouldn't be so. All of a sudden I saw myself in this different light. I was likable and someone wanted me, and I just felt like all of those hard years of feeling lonely and unloved weren't true. Granted he helped, but to get out of that hole, I was the one who needed to be ready and willing.

It took me a very long time, with lots of shit to go through, to get to the place I am now. Yes, I will always have tendencies to work out, but I feel strong, confident, and finally secure enough in myself to know that everything will be okay, and I have the power to make it that way. Depression is hard to get through, but for me, I needed to go through it to be able to appreciate all of life's beauty the way I do now. I have visited both sides of the spectrum, and comfortably planted my roots on the happy end. And I plan on living happily ever after.


Anonymous said...

you are such a light to me Sara. i love you! knowing you has been a blessing and i love our friendship. im just very happy to have had the chance to get to know you and have all of those starbucks adventures. you are so self-aware and wise. (you are like a minature buddha covered in hair; quote from my favorite movie anchor man)