Saturday, May 30, 2009

Bed Reads

I've been reading the Chelsea Handler book "My Horizontal Life," and it's filled with crazy stories of her one night stands. I am not at all surprised that she's from New Jersey and mentions Belmar. It's the perfect place to find a one night stand kind of guy. There's one story in particular that I find laugh out loud hysterical, and its called "Skid Mark." If the road I'm about to take sounds too dirty or foul for you, it probably is, but keep reading anyway. It's too funny to pass up!

Basically Chelsea goes out to pick up guys at a bar with one of her girlfriends. Her entourage, herself included, treats men like tampons. One use is all they need- with only a few lucky exceptions. In "Skid Mark" her friend wants to go home with her chosen guy so badly that she forces Chelsea to follow suit. The only problem is that Chelsea just had some lethal Mexican food right before the bar, and she just dropped a nuclear explosion in the bathroom. Now she has really bad gas and has to find somewhere to clean up the mess it left. The best part arrives when Chelsea wakes up to discover her one night stand panties lying skid mark side up in the morning sunshine. What does she do? Did he see the panties? Will he wake up and be grossed out? Will those panties come back to haunt her? Pretty much! It's a must read...