Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Gluttony is the Story of My Life

I'm the biggest I've ever been.

Yes, that is me on the left looking large and in charge.

With the dining hall only a few steps down the street, and another even more convieniently located just a few elevator stops (notice how I didn't say flights of stairs) away, food has been my biggest and most reliable friend, here in the comforts of my new home in Boston.

Burritos, bagels, pasta, mashed potatoes... the list is endless. I've reverted into the small child I never was, slurping down chocolate milk with everything else sludging down my pipe.

The gym, of which I've only found twice while getting lost looking for something else, seems like the athletic person's heaven. It's decked out in bright colors and fancy equipment, things I can rarely figure out how to use, and it's located in relative obscurity. That way, while my backside jiggles uncontrollably, I can feel the satisfaction in knowing there won't be a huge audience.

I've banned weighing myself. This is not to say that I've become obese- or even close to not fitting in my clothes. This is to say, however, that my clothes don't sit on me the way they used to and definitely not the way I'd like them to. Oh the joys of being a junior. I'm packing on the freshman five or ten, while simultaneously snacking on Spenser, Milton, Bronte, O'Connor, and Shakespeare. Constant consumption of the body and mind. Do I dare complain? No.

Instead, I text some of my roommates to see if they've eaten, and we venture off into the land of plenty. Some day I will venture back to the gym, but until then my friends, project burger bun ass is in full effect. With that thought, New Years is on its way, and this makes mapping out my resolutions so much easier. Executing them, not so much....

Update: Today I took another trip to visit the squirrels. This time I had some pumpkin bread in my clutches. That means I didn't eat the whole thing! Success!

Note to self: If a squirrel lunges at you once, don't be surprised when it lunges at you twice, this time only higher and closer. Tomorrow we'll see if this lesson actually sticks.


vampy_couture said...

He's out to get you!!